The 1st..

On this first mother’s day without you I need to share this with you and I’m fairly certain I scared you enough that you’re still reading my blog sooo I’m sharing here.

Sometimes when you slept on my couch and you did your weird lil snores I pushed Dooks at you until he woke you up and gave out to him for waking you, other times I recorded you and giggled.

I hated your shepherd’s pie..You couldn’t mash a potato to save a life. It’s not even a complex undertaking, I’m still baffled. Plus how did you manage to make meatballs out of the mince..question for the ages

 I loved your sausages ’cause the black crispy bits were delish and that is not sarcasm

I stole cigarettes from you for yrs..and spare change..until like a week before you died (you weren’t using it!). Fairly certain you knew that though from the grins you gave me.

Even when I didn’t talk to you,when I was in my most antisocial humours I loved you being here. And you knew it. 

I thought you exaggerated the number of friends you had until your funeral cause I still can’t believe anyone is that bloody popular! It was ridiculous..I hope you saw!

I threw out some of your uglier clothes whenever they went into my washing machine whoops soz

Your fringe drove me to distraction

Picking on you and having Asho threaten to beat me up for it and making you laugh made me happy. I mean I probably would never have changed the locks and left you outside but we’ll never know for sure now ha ha

I would have been your best friend even if I wasn’t your daughter you really did rock…I just wouldn’t have drank with you unless you paid me! Lightweight. 

I stole from your vodka bottle and you drank mostly water when you had bottles in the house from when I was about 15..and you still managed to get drunk. Baffling.

And finally..I miss the way you smell and the way you always answered the phone saying I’ll call you back before I even spoke. I miss burnt sausages and having all the family info from command central through you. I miss hearing about your job and telling you about mine. I miss your annoying fringe, soft snore (unless vodka fuelled) savage cups of tea, whacky texts.

Oh and your lawnmower and fridge are broken whoops soz happy mothers day. I’ll be thinking of you every minute so if you want to send me a sign such as winning lotto numbers I’d be much obliged.

Your baby always,



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